When Your Parenting Plans Go Out the Window

When we were expecting a baby, the planning started early. Books, magazines, registering for gifts. I quickly realized what a crazy amount of planning and getting ready for a new baby was. Then, I learned that those plans can quickly change.

We registered, we picked out the furniture for baby’s room. We even planned out our weeks around when our daughter was due. However, our daughter had other plans.

She decided she wanted to come early. Way early. Our daughter was born at 26 weeks. However, we adjusted. Her prematurity also threw off another plan of ours. My wife planned on breastfeeding our daughter when she was born, but when our daughter was on a ventilator to help her breath for almost 4 months, breastfeeding wasn’t an option. So we reworked our plan.

Even after our daughter was off the ventilator, breastfeeding didn’t work out because she had difficulty learning how to do it. When you don’t use the muscles required to breastfeed for several months, they don’t quite work right. So my wife pumped for almost a year.

When we were expecting we were also planning out day cares and how we were going to go back to work and when. You guessed it, that plan changed as well. Our daughter wasn’t allowed to go to daycare for at least the first two years of her life due to medical concerns. So we worked through it. We found some at home sitters and adjusted our work schedules.

As she got older, the health concerns went away. However there were other plans that I have realized didn’t work out. My wife and I were always both very athletic, and I always thought our daughter would take on those traits as well. Not so much. We tried soccer. She had a blast, but it wasn’t for her. However, put her in some dance shoes and on a stage, and watch her go! So, maybe it wasn’t my plan, but I should have known it doesn’t matter what we plan, it’s not up to us all the time.

When my daughter was in the NICU for 5 months, we made the best of it. We learned so many new things. Plus, we gained a whole new appreciation for how precious babies are and how they shouldn’t be taken for granted.

As a parent you can plan, plan, plan. But in the end, it’s not always up to us. Take what you get, live every day, and enjoy the best job in the world. Being a parent.

–Jason Pyciak, Parenting Program Volunteer

2 Responses to “When Your Parenting Plans Go Out the Window”


  1. 1 Anonymous August 22, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    Jason, what an inspiring story! Thank you for the reminder that the one thing your can plan for when it comes to parenting is “change” and with change comes flexibility. Love how you celebrate your daughters individual gifts.

  2. 2 Betsy Clancy August 28, 2011 at 9:53 am

    Jason,
    My husband nurtured our young athletic sons and was thrilled when one excelled in science and math. But when one picked up a bass guitar and the other started drumming on real drums…that was it! But the love, and support is all still there.


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