Prepare to be “Bowl”ed over

nrg stadium

Cropped image. Urban.houstonian, Flickr. CC license.

The big game. That pinnacle of football achievement. The height of prowess. Best vs. the best. A final chance for the players to exude dominance. A final chance to admire Tom Brady’s form. (The way he throws a football, I mean. Of course that’s what I meant.)

If you’re a football fan, you tune in for the game. You watch as the offense outruns—nay, outsmarts— the defense. You observe the strategy on both sides as tempers flare and celebrations ensue. You analyze the replays with interest and deliver your own verdict on the judgments of the officials. If you’re especially savvy, you can decree with certainty if a player “completed the process of the catch.” This is a thrilling, four-hour competition that will be talked about for decades (or days). Either way it’s still thrilling!

However …

If you have less of a technical interest in the game, and are perhaps only watching because certain loved ones in your life have commandeered the remote leaving you without further recourse, then perhaps these supplemental game day elements may interest you.

Squares. You’ve probably heard of these. If you haven’t, please Google the concept because I thought about explaining it and quickly realized it would put me over my word limit for the article. Just trust me that they’re super fun (super fun! See what I did there?) and cause you to care deeply about those pesky two-point conversions.

Commercials. You’ve probably heard of these, too. Air time during the big game is highly coveted among advertisers; as such, they pay a lot of money for their 30-second slot ($5,000,000 per slot in 2016) and they work hard to make darn sure you’re paying attention to them. The commercials are usually creative masterpieces, some containing catchphrases that are sure to live on in the vernacular of our society for years. Think “Where’s the beef?

Halftime entertainment. If you only have the ability to tune in for a few minutes, try to time your viewing for halftime. Some acts are more memorable than others, but you don’t want to be that person at the watercooler on Monday who missed this year’s wardrobe malfunction display of talent.

Various furry bowls. No, not your toilets at home. I refer to the Kitten and Puppy Bowls airing on the Hallmark Channel and Animal Planet, respectively. If no one in your house is interested in seeing men slam each other into the turf, then turn your attention to the gentle carousing of the feline and canine varieties. The programs are both on earlier in the day, so they make for excellent family friendly viewing.

As that football guy Vince Lombardi once said, “Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection, we can catch excellence.” The big game is all about chasing perfection. And catching things. And all of the other excellent aspects of the day. So do try to tune in on February 5.

– Wendy MacKenzie is a mother of four, Parenting Program volunteer, and legendary loser at Squares.

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